Since Lincoln’s first birthday, we have been planning a photo shoot with my best friend/personal photographer. Link’s birthday falls in winter, and we had a lot of unlucky, rainy weekends. Finally, after months of failed attempts, we are able to present our family photos! The moment that we set Lincoln’s urn out for a picture,… Continue reading Family Photos
Dear Lincoln, This week we announced that you are going to be a big brother. It was a little bit early to share, but your daddy and I really want to remain hopeful. This is pretty scary for us. Everything was so much simpler when you were growing in my belly. But I’m trying to… Continue reading To my Firstborn
This is new. This is surreal. This is incredibly scary. Pregnancy After Loss. Since Lincoln died, it no longer feels like a pregnancy guarantees that a baby will be in my arms 9 months from now. On March 22nd, a little pink strip told me what I already knew deep down in my gut. First… Continue reading Big Brother Lincoln
My parents have 7 living grandchildren. I was so excited for Lincoln to be number 8. The cousins have a strong bond. The family gets together and they are drawn to each other like magnets. They take care of each other and play together for hours. I couldn’t wait to add my gingery, freckly little… Continue reading Part of the Family
In Lincoln’s third trimester, I really believed that I would never want to be pregnant again. Pregnancy is truly uncomfortable, and I didn’t care for it. When I ended up on bed rest, that feeling was amplified. I was put on a medication to stop early contractions, and they made me absolutely miserable. I got… Continue reading TTC After Loss
You know that gut feeling? You get it when you’re forgetting something. You get it when it seems like something must be wrong, or when something bad is going to happen. Is the coffee pot still on? Did you forget to turn off the oven? Did you drive to work without your wallet? Maybe you… Continue reading The Feeling
It can be so difficult to find the words. How do you explain what it feels like to carry on living without your child? Without a part of you. Without the life that you carried and birthed. Without someone who you love more than any other. I don’t have another living child to give this… Continue reading Lost
**This post contains profanity. Sorry, grandma** Ever since I was a kid, I felt guilty if a “bad word” left my lips. I was raised in a conservative, religious household. We were not to use naughty words. As I got older, I continued with this philosophy, for my own reasons. To me, vulgar language is… Continue reading An Angry Post
Today is a hard day. There is no reason for this day to be harder than any other day. It’s not a holiday or a birthday. It’s not an anniversary or a special occasion. It is just a day. But on this day, my heart is aching. On this day, the Lincoln-shaped hole in my… Continue reading The Hard Days
One Year…. It doesn’t seem possible. Life has kept moving at its usual, steady pace; even though I dragged my feet through part of the year. It was hard to go back to real life, accepting that this is our truth. We have no choice but to move on without you. We are moving on;… Continue reading One Year- Messages from Mom and Dad
