It can be so difficult to find the words. How do you explain what it feels like to carry on living without your child? Without a part of you. Without the life that you carried and birthed. Without someone who you love more than any other. I don’t have another living child to give this… Continue reading Lost
**This post contains profanity. Sorry, grandma** Ever since I was a kid, I felt guilty if a “bad word” left my lips. I was raised in a conservative, religious household. We were not to use naughty words. As I got older, I continued with this philosophy, for my own reasons. To me, vulgar language is… Continue reading An Angry Post
I had 11 hours with my son once he was born. Instead of countless nights of tending to him when he cries, and a lifetime of memories as he grows, I got 11 hours. I didn’t get to hear him cry. I didn’t get to see the color of his eyes. I didn’t get to… Continue reading The Hardest Goodbye
I’ve shared the story of the funeral home. I’ve shared how I felt in that dark, sad building on December 28th, 2015. What I haven’t shared is that, on that day, I was offered the use of the chapel for a memorial service. For parents of lost babies, this was offered free of charge. But… Continue reading Permission
I collect names and make displays. Each name represents a baby who died. The first time I did this was for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Awareness has a lot to do with these projects. There is a stigma surrounding baby loss. Babies represent new beginnings. They are not supposed to die. Pregnancy and… Continue reading Say Their Names
Today is a hard day. There is no reason for this day to be harder than any other day. It’s not a holiday or a birthday. It’s not an anniversary or a special occasion. It is just a day. But on this day, my heart is aching. On this day, the Lincoln-shaped hole in my… Continue reading The Hard Days
One Year…. It doesn’t seem possible. Life has kept moving at its usual, steady pace; even though I dragged my feet through part of the year. It was hard to go back to real life, accepting that this is our truth. We have no choice but to move on without you. We are moving on;… Continue reading One Year- Messages from Mom and Dad
