If you could change one thing about your grief, what would it be? Last month I attended my first grief support group. I was incredibly nervous. It wasn’t specific to baby loss and I wasn’t sure if I’d feel comfortable airing out my feelings. I was in tears before even walking inside. That day,… Continue reading What I Would Change
It’s something I didn’t think of. I wasn’t expecting it. The first time it happened, it knocked the wind out of me and left me curled up on the couch in tears. Like so many moms, when I found out that I was pregnant, I signed up for weekly emails about the growth of… Continue reading I’ve Been Banned from Checking the Mail
How much should I share with strangers? How honest should I be? Should I spare them the awkward moment and spare myself the looks of pity? I’m faced with this decision on a regular basis. Teaching preschool requires some professional development. It has never been my favorite way to spend a Saturday morning,… Continue reading The Ever-Awkward Icebreakers
I was still at the hospital when they asked me… “will you choose cremation?” The question left a ringing in my ears. I felt panic rising in my chest. My tears instantly spilled over. My baby’s perfect little body was to be reduced to ashes….. It was the morning of Christmas Eve when I was… Continue reading Bringing Home Baby
It had only been 3 weeks. I made a last minute appointment to get my c-section incision checked out. It was most definitely infected. For other appointments, my doctor made sure I got in and out quickly: minimizing the amount of time spent surrounded by pregnant women in the waiting room. My social interactions had… Continue reading “You’re so Lucky”
He looked just like his daddy. He got his furrowed eyebrows and his tiny chin. When the light hit just right, little bits of red shimmered in his hair. That red hair, just like we had always dreamed he’d have. He got my nose; that little button nose. His fingers and his toes were all… Continue reading Lincoln Everett
You do have to start somewhere, right? I have been considering writing a blog for some time now, but I haven’t known where to start. Too much has happened. There’s too much to say…too much to feel. So I’ll have to begin by telling you that my newborn son died. I start here because this… Continue reading This is Where I’ll Start
