baby loss · Grief · Infant Loss · life after loss

Another

I sat at a large table in a conference room. I knew I was there for bad news. I knew it as I followed the nurse down the hall. Before they even began, they asked about the death of my first son. My third-born was across the hospital, hooked up to countless machines, keeping him alive. They were about to show me scans of his brain. I was about to see a gray mass of inactivity….
But before they told me he was dying….
Before sharing that there was nothing else they could do….
They asked about my firstborn. 

Angel Moms · baby loss · Grief · Infant Loss · life after loss · Loss · rsv

Your Baby Got to Stay

Dear Mommy Friend, Month after month, I see your milestone updates. I see your photos and development charts: lists of all of the exciting new things that your baby is doing. I’m watching your baby grow, and wishing mine was still here to do the same things. You’ve probably noticed that some months, I put… Continue reading Your Baby Got to Stay

Angel Moms · baby loss · Grief · Infant Loss · life after loss · Loss · rsv

Dear Big Brother

My living son is two years old. It’s a little difficult to know how much he understands about death. Though he’s never met him, he’s talked to Lincoln’s picture since he was a tiny baby. Losing Liam was a bit different, but I’m not sure exactly what he’s thinking. I’m always trying to figure out… Continue reading Dear Big Brother

baby loss · Grief · pal · stillbirth

Why We Don’t Use the Term “Rainbow Baby”

I first heard of the term “Rainbow Baby” in an online loss mom group. I was only a few months out from Lincoln’s death, and I liked the term at first. It was a glimmer of hope: a look at what could be. A rainbow baby is born after loss. It is the bright, beautiful… Continue reading Why We Don’t Use the Term “Rainbow Baby”