I ordered an urn today.

I never imagined I would be doing this again.

Grieving. Again.

Picking out an urn. Again.

Signing orders for a death certificate. Again.

Emptying the clothes from the changing table. Again.

Sobbing these deep, uncontrollable sobs. Again.

Feeling empty inside. Again

Dealing with the empty arm ache. Again.

Adjusting to a life without my baby who should still be here. Again.

Mothering a child I didn’t get to keep. Again.

I shouldn’t be here again. But here I am. And I will do everything I can to insure that both of my babies are remembered. Always.

Liam Marshall Snyder 01/06/2020-02/17/2020

Lincoln Everett Snyder 12/22/2015