life after loss

9 Months

How is it possible that so much time has passed?  The wounds feel so fresh, so new.  Lately, I’ve felt so many beautiful things coming alive within me.  But today, on the 22nd, I ache.  I miss you so much, my precious baby.  You should be doing so many amazing things. You should be crawling and starting to pull up.  You should be saying, “dada.”  You should have some teeth.  You should be starting solid foods and using a sippy cup.  You should be here….

*Photo Credit: A Storybook Moment Photography 

What I’d like to say to you, my sweet angel, is thank you for all that you’ve given me.  Yes, it is hard to be without you; but oh what amazing things you’ve done with the time we had together.  I am discovering so many new things about myself because of you.  I am stronger.  I am braver.  I am not afraid of failure.  I am more expressive.  I owe these things to you.  I can only imagine how incredible you would be if I had gotten to keep you.  You, my beautiful Lincoln, have given me so much purpose.  I promise to live fully.  I promise to be honest.  I promise to continue to share you with those around me.  I’m so thankful that you are mine and I am yours.  I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I would do it all again.  For you, baby.  Only for you.  I love you, from the bottom of my aching heart.

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